The battle.

Sometimes I know what I want and I know what I feel.
I could even feel quite certain at times...yet somehow it still manages
to conflict with what I think I should want and what I think I should feel.
And as the real me,with my real thoughts and my real emotions
lays somewhere, deeply involved in this battle of desires;
I, here, get helplessly lost in all the confusion.

Not knowing where I stand,
I don't even dare make a movement,
afraid that I might move in the wrong direction
too afraid to make a choice that I cannot retract
An action that Hindsight will quickly call a 'mistake'....

Funny enough - even when I am completely confident of my desires
At the time of action I'm often too afraid of the unknown that lies in front of me,
So one can only imagine when the unknown lies within me.
So I ask:
What does the future hold....
What to do...
Where to go...
How to act..
How to think?

Actually
Who is thinking?
These thoughts, to whom do they belong...?
Where do they come from?
Do I think them or are they formed elsewhere.
I just don't know anymore, not sure if I ever did.
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This war that I wage
this battle that I face..








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T4aM