Know thyself: Hi i'm Ben and I'm an introvert

Hi.
My name is Ben
And I'm an introvert....

Aaaand.... I'm proud :D !

They say the first step is acceptance, well I am long passed that phase and the truth is I honestly wish I knew this information a lot earlier in life because it would have certainly helped me in understanding a lot in terms of:

1. How I feel during certain social situations.
2. Occasional inexplicable internal feelings at times.
3. Relationship difficulties and eventual breakups over the years.

And here I was all this time thinking that I can be socially awkward, hard to love and reclusive at times. Thank God for psychology...

People get a tad bit confused about what it means to be Extroverted and Introverted. The average person will tell you that an extrovert is social,out-going, confident, fun to be around and talkative, while the common personality traits attributed to introverts are shyness, quiet, low-confidence and very reserved. This inevitably and unfortunately leads to the conclusion that

Extrovert = Good 

and 

Introvert = Bad 

A very sad conclusion to reach because in all honestly neither of these inferences could be any further away from the truth... I don't blame anyone for thinking like this because this too is what I myself believed for a very long time as well and because of this I think I even ended up pretending to be an extrovert for the most part of my childhood, or rather and more directly I spent a lot of effort suppressing my introversion, because that didn't seem to be what society wanted, that didn't seem to be what was deemed acceptable and normal. We all know that your introvert status obviously won't get you in with the cool kids seated at the back of the bus.

So because of my weak inner compass and my superficial social ambitions I honestly thought that I was an extrovert: I mean I like parties, I like crowds and I can socialize with new people - crack a joke here and there...so thus I am an extrovert right??

WRONG!!

It was when the romantic, loving, sprung side of me somehow got us involved in stable relationships during varsity that I realized that I really really really valued my alone time, because sometimes I just really wanted to be alone but unfortunately I could never really explain why. And due to my overpowering ignorance throughout these confusing and adverse times, I ended up looking for any viable excuse not to be with my better half ("I need to study", "I miss my room hey", "I'm not feeling too good" etc etc), completely oblivious to the real reason behind it. I remember I even once asked to be alone on my Birthday (that didn't end to well at all), which some might view as a selfish move, but the reality of the situation was that I needed to have some personal time, I needed to reflect and I needed to spend time with my self...why? because that's where I get my energy from and that ladies and gentlemen is what it is all about. The key concept behind what it actually means to be introverted, is that we as introverts tend to recharge by spending time alone and we tend to lose energy from being around other people for long periods of time. Yes this is a really simplified expansions of the two terms (it gets deeper) but I have found that this explanation alone explains the very core of who I am, what I do and how I act in my daily life (FYI a person in the middle of  this personality continuum is referred to as an Ambivert).

Things that are probably only known to myself and those really close to me is the fact that I can literally go days without seeing anyone, sometimes (many times..) I  spend an entire weekend in complete silence alone in my apartment away from the world (reading, writing, coding etc) and it honestly doesn't bother me one single bit. Of course it's not complete silence because I talk/sing/argue with myself on the regular and it's these conversations, these thought processes and these private times that keep me focused, sane and on track - without them I'd be an utterly hopeless wreck - which has happened many a time. Usually when exposed to (certain types of) people for too long, away from the privacy of my space (home, apartment, desk etc) for too long or surrounded by the 'noise' for too long.

Understanding this key aspect about my personality has really taught me about my self, both going backwards in retrospect as well as giving me great insight going forwards with my future plans, goals and ambitions both in my career and personal life. For example : working this year knowing that I am introverted (among many other personality traits) has helped me understand how I prefer to solve problems (usually a lot of thinking, staring and mental processing), why I can get slightly agitated during long days at the office and how I operate in teams and group discussions (a lot of reflection, silence and internalizing). It is this kind of deep inner understanding that will help me to determine the type of working environment I can thrive in, the type of work I want to do and the type of people I'd like to be around. Regarding my future intimate relationships, I'll be sure that my next I-think-that-I-like-you-let's-date contract will be accompanied with my little personality disclaimer at the bottom of page 1 ( that and the fact that I'm not a big fan of PDA, yes we can hold hands in public but that's about it..)

As much as life and reality as we know it is about understanding the world around us and learning how best to adapt,the real journey is about understanding who we really are deep down inside and finding out how best to express that fully in our immediate environment and in our every day lives.

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"For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating."
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#T4aM

sources: http://www.fastcompany.com/3016031/leadership-now/are-you-an-introvert-or-an-extrovert-and-what-it-means-for-your-career  (thanks for the great article Beth)